There are many times when you will hear or read about a parent or business owner who is making a good job of teaching their kids about empathy. Yet if we ask ourselves why parents and businesses do not teach this skill to their kids, then the answer is obvious. This is because they believe empathy does not extend to other people. If they see another person as having a need of compassion or sympathy, they are inclined to think the same about him or her.
But did you realize that your kids also have a view-point about people? Did you know that they are not immune to judging others? They do have a tendency to look at the bright side of people. Children with good parenting skills are also often sensitive to the other person's perspective-taking skills. And if your kids have developed empathetic skills, then perhaps you should consider adding the word "empathy" to the titles of your kids' good books, good courses, and good programs.
Why is it important to teach our children the ability to share and listen to another individual? The ability to effectively empathize may help us relate to others emotionally. It is a great skill for parenting and also a great foundation for leading a meaningful life. When we recognize the other person's feelings and view-point, we become much more likely to show similar emotions in our own lives. When we live from our hearts and share our feelings, others are more likely to do the same.
In an earlier parenting science article I wrote about the hot-cold empathy gap. I suggested that being cold or neutral in one's heart was related to an increased likelihood of experiencing emotional pain. My argument made sense. However, there was one person who agreed with my theory and pointed out that people get hurt when they express their opinions too much. Those hurt feelings may manifest themselves as depression, anxiety, and anger. Therefore, it may make more sense to focus on expressing one's opinions less and feel better emotionally.
That is one important thing to keep in mind when teaching empathy skills to children. As we work with our young ones, we should not only be teaching them to feel compassionately towards others but we must teach them to have an affective empathy. Teach them to feel the feelings of others. They should learn to be sensitive to how other people are feeling and the way they are feeling. This may take some work but it will make them much more compassionate. This empathy will impact how they behave, as well as how they interact with others.
There is a new parenting program on the market called, "You Are What You Eat." It is a series of five books that helps parents instruct their kids to develop healthy eating habits. In the book, the parents show how eating certain foods can change the way one feels. They teach their kids that certain emotions come from what you eat. That means if you are angry because your stomach is upset from eating too much pizza, you are actually experiencing anger. So, instead of punishing your kids for being overzealous about their diet, teach them that by eating healthier they will experience less conflict in their lives.
There is also a big study coming out of Yale University of Glasgow, called, "Empathy and Its Benefits," which indicates that there is some physiological basis to support the emotional and behavioral benefits of empathy. According to the research, lower stress levels and higher self-esteem can be achieved through empathic behavior. In addition to that, the increased self-awareness and higher cognitive control help individuals to be more successful. This is good news for families who are struggling to raise teens with high crime rates. The less chaos, the better. This study was conducted by a group of UK researchers led by Dr. Ben Moore who is a member of the UK Royal Society and an Adjunct Senior lecturer at King's College London.
Empathy is a valuable skill and it has both personal and professional applications. Given the increasing incidences of violence and domestic issues brought on by severe anger and aggression, teaching empathy to young people may be one of the best things one can do for himself or herself. The advantages of teaching empathy and be psychol are many. The biggest is obviously reducing the likelihood of interpersonal violence and other forms of delinquency.